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A Viking Named ¡Caliente!
Click on a title for complete lyrics

                                           1)  Walkabout
                                           2)   You're So Far Away (Allie)
                                           3)   The Only Way
                                           4)   Soy Muy Caliente! Disco
                                           5)   Paste Eating Johnny vs Mrs. Edison
                                           6)   Catherine Calls
                                           7)   Hozers Down
                                           8)   Never Gonna Let Me Out
                                           9)   Regicide on My Mind
                                           10)  Epilogue

All words and music written by Jake Laufer (c) 1997-2000

Jake Laufer: Guitars, vocals, Charles Soule: Lead guitar, Efra Zagara: Saxaphone, Chuck Treece: Drums, Sergio Aviles: Bass, Engineered by Alfred Goodrich

Never see it coming though we're searching, looking every day
There's always something out there, something, gonna jump out in our way
And if I look too hard, I'll find

It's often in the attic, except behind the cellar door
Thought it was diplomatic when I told you that I wanted something more
And it's gotta be out there somewhere

Chorus:

We always walk around it, we always talk right through it
It's all we think about, but we never do nothing, nothing, it's all that we fear
Sometimes the sky is cloudy, but then the night is clear

No time to think about the consequence, it's too easy now, too quick to put it down
We leave it in the strictest confidence, should have known by now

We face it in the mirror, we saw it way back at the start
It's always one thing or another gonna make it all fall apart
And it may just be too late

You always said you couldn't understand me, hate you had to guess
And to never cross the street behind someone who is depressed
And you know that's one to grow on, grow on, grow on, go on

Chorus:

We always walk around it, we always talk right through it
Too much to think about, and so we never ever do it
Till flash goes the light then it's all gone, got sent down to the farm
Don't want to jump too fast, still living in the past
We always walk about it, don't want to walk-a-bout it

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Jake: Electric and acoustic guitars, vocals, Alfred Goodrich: Bass percussion, Chuck Treece: Drums, Engineered by Alfred Goodrich

There's a girl been on my mind, keeps me all preoccupied
Serve it up, I'll take it straight, Allie, Allie
Drink it down from above, looks and smells and quacks like love
Fits me like a Mike Schmidt glove, left under my bed.

Faces in the shadows, echoes in the hall
Dreaming of just you Allie, staring at my walls
Wishing you were near me, wishing I could stay
Allie, you're so far away

Stepped into my empty room, came inside but left too soon
Wrote her name upon my brain, Allie, Allie
Words I think but dare not say, put my love on rain delay
Made me freak like crème brulee, left out in the sun

Faces in the shadows, echoes in the hall
Dreaming of just you Allie, staring at my walls
Praying you could feel all that I know today
Allie, youre so far away.

All that she had I'd give her more, I've never felt this weak before
Starfish spread out on the floor, Allie, Allie
If only we could see this through, there's not a thing I wouldn't do
I'd disavow the Clash and Who, bone up on some stank like Rent

Faces in the shadows, echoes in the hall
Dreaming of just you Allie, staring at my walls
Knowing that you're out there but I'm resigned to say
Allie, yo're so far away.

But I would eat through glass, I would not be afraid
To break through this wall and shout, (Hey Koolaid!)
I'd be your endless remedy, if only you would answer me
Oh please, I'm just no good at this, I had you at my fingertips
I read the signs but came to play, Allie you're so far away
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The Only Way

I turned the lights way down, sat down upon the bed
I put my headphones on to quiet the voice in my head
Now I stare into something I've never seen
Bring out from silence sound, far from between.

This is not the only way, but it's my only way
Don't know what you hear
Traveling the mine laid path less followed
Wish the Highway were clear.

This is all that I would ask you to see
This wave of light and sound serves as a shadow of me
Crawl into and see the same
That I lost my name

I've spent all this time caught up in
questionable wisdom and skeptical rhyme
Going about all that's been escaping me.
Chalk it up to what you will,
this twisted code of standards fail me still...
As I thought ways can't mend, I find myself whole
when I see you again.

This is all that I would ask you to see
This wave of light and sound serves as a shadow of me
Crawl into and see the same

This is all that I would ask you to see
This wave of light and sound finally sailed you to me
Climb into we'll feel the same
That I lost my name

(The lost verse)
Magnet time can pull before me and words can betray
Telling all about the closing in and the pushing away
All I saw was cost but for the first time, maybe the point wasn't lost.
Not all lines break fair but I'm getting the bounces now, cause you're standing right there.
 
 

Soy Muy Caliente! Disco

"Soy muy Caliente" every weekend
chicks they dig me love my freakin'
A 9-5 apprentice plumber
but at night I'm the coolest cut-a-rugger

When I go, Soy Muy Caliente Disco
Here we go, from Queens to San Francisco
Here we go, my food, my air, my disco
Here we go, hanging with Denny Terrio

Touch my hair again, I'll cut you,
I only hustle with my red shoes
Sleep with a shower cap on my sweet head
I'm gonna boogie till I be dead, be dead, be dead dead

Till I go, Soy Muy Caliente Disco etc.

Some dudes' thinking dancing just is not their style
I deal with this most every day
Don't fear the reaper, when Frampton comes alive
They all want me to show them the way.

I got a Pinto with a ski rack
I'm digging Abba on my 8-Track
It's all illegal search and seizure
Get your fingers off my suit of leisure

Gotta go, Soy Muy Caliente Disco
Here we go, from Queens to San Francisco
Here we go, my food, my air, my disco
Here we go, hanging with Denny Terrio

Here we go, from San Luis Obispo
Here we go, this raging flame of disco
Who cooks his food with Crisco, and lights the air with disco
I like the ladies, chicks-o and that new song by Styx-ooooo
Here we go, my food, my air, my disco
Here we go, hanging with Denny Terrio

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Paste Eating Johnny vs. Mrs. Edison

Tom was the smooth one in my class
Sat in the back row flicked his gum and  laughed
Every time a sub came in
Wished I were half as cool as him

Every afternoon he'd steal
Paste eating Johnny would just up and  squeal
I just dreamed of space and feared the bomb
Until the time that I first spied his mom, so long, The can't miss one

Mrs. Edison
The can't miss one

Never see a bod like that before
Guess she was old like maybe something over 24!
Her eyes were blue her hair was free
No fool,  yeah she was digging me

Our lives then flashed before my eyes
She'd help me learn fractions and then I would watch her jazzercize
We'd always play Capture the Flag
We'd build a fort and then, oh yeah, we'd shag, cuz I'm wicked awesome

Mrs. Edison
The can't miss one

As I dreamed of Tommy's mom in bed
A can of Fresca whizzed beside my head
Tom came down and laid the hurt
And left me bleeding on my Jams and brand new O.P. shirt

But yet I still recall the day
That one amazing time when I refused to look away
My heart was fuller than my head
I still remember what I would, have said Deanne, get on my Big Wheel

Mrs. Edison, the cant miss one
Mrs. Edison
I'm ready for you

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Catherine Calls

I came inside to seek a shadow
I thought I spotted her in the window
Fought through the bodies shaking, hearts were taking, lines were breaking down
But what I found I still followed

I didn't see her that night, sometimes another's alright
Till Catherine calls, breaks down these walls, I'll double bolt my doors
But when Catherine calls I'll be alone no more

Moving's hard while looking backwards
Was there once more that I was after?
What's my type, act in spite know what's right, and now she's gone
I was wrong about tomorrow

Will first one be our last night?  I guess that should be alright
'Cuz when Catherine calls, breaks down these walls, won't care what's come before
And when Catherine phones I'll be alone no more

"Kate," I'm calling her there
I know she needed to be more than just what I wanted her to be
If I could see her there
Maybe I'd understand the time that we had was not meant to be

Accept my choice to decline to see what's waiting outside
Till Catherine calls breaks down these walls, I'll double bolt my doors
And when Catherine phones, I'll be alone no more.

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Hozers Down

Alberta Alberta won't you please come home
Alberta Alberta won't you please come home
Didn't have no lovin, since you've been gone.

Ontario's the largest province, by population not by mass
I met a girl in Ottawa, but her boyfriend kicked my ass
He was 6 foot 4, 265, with buffalo for pets
Which he skinned by hand for practice, now plays center for the Jets.

Alberta, Alberta...

I met a sweet Quebecker and she let me do the deed
Thought we had something special, then she wanted to secede.
'Cuz she was from Chicoutimi, a francophonic frog
She said "maudit calvaire, anglo, I radder sleep wit dog!"

Alberta, Alberta...

In BC they mine molybdenum and copper from a pail
Which doesn't quite go all the way to explain how I ended up in that cold Vancouver jail
I met a real hot mounite, had more drinks than I could count
I saw her on her horsie, couldn't tell which one to mount!

Alberta, Alberta...

Struck out in Manitoba, shot down in Nunavut
I feel like a myopic squirrel who just can't find a nut
Took a frosty beating in every northern town
Guess I learned my lesson, PIMPS UP AND HOZERS DOWN!
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Never Gonna Let Me Out







There comes a time when I feel confined
My world it seems really small
It makes me miss all those times I played
Twister, naked in the mall

And if you really want to know me, show me
Just what this world is about
Because I'm stuck in this institution and they're never gonna let me out

Sometimes I feel so happy, baby
Sometimes I get so mad
Sometimes I feel so lonely, only
Because my milk went bad

Sometimes I think I'm a Swedish Princess
Sitting on a toilet seat throne
And I wonder each time I'm sleeping
Why these ants won't leave me alone

Chorus:

Don't come closer with that flaming necktie
I know what you're trying to do
Because the walls around me are melting
And I think my bunny's turning blue

And if you really want to know me, show me
Just what this world is about
Because I'm stuck in this institution and they're never gonna let me out}

Faces, blankets, vacums, motors, everything in orange colors
Worship Barney, offer staples, send death threats to Marla Maples
Sleep with chickens, dance with otters, grow a beard like Mr. Kotter
Eat a jigsaw, drink a phone, I think I'm safe to be left alone!

Don't go out in public ever
Don't you know it'll give you The Clap
The cartographers of the world are systematically erasing my home, Atlantis from all maps.

It's all a conspiracy, it's clear to me, the probability, that you and me
Were originally both peas in a pod
So bow to me, worship me, ain't no fallacy, a certainty
That I am the lord your god.

Chorus

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Regicide on My Mind

Hey up there, you down for a stoning?
I say I got cross 'cross my mind!
I stand up after the gloaming, inside.

I never stood down to tyranny in all my life
I take your word, I'll take your wife
'Cuz I got the blood and means on my side.

He sits up on his throne, getting sweets while I stand here alone
I got a heart full of soul and my mind in the bowl
With the sense of a rock and the brains of a foal
And the scene inside my mind, regicide!

The feuds did alright by my family
The peasants, I don't pay no mind.
The wenches, they make me so randy, so fine!

Now, don't say that the days of the Knights have passed
Or I'll have to go yesterday on your ass
And all that comes before's done in time.

Put his head on the wall, sweet anarchy is my call!
Got a craw full of ale and my lunch in the pail
With the wit of a goat and the charm of a snail
And this fever in my mind, regicide!

I don't think that you want to know, why
understand my motivation know my
toppling the only rule we go by is the only occupation for I
never learned to ride or tend a pigsty, took the only offer drawn and so I'm
toppling the head on whom the crown lies on, until the break of dawn!!!

He sits up on his throne, as I work my hands to the bone!
I got a heart full of soul and my mind in the bowl, with the sense of a rock and the brain of a foal
Got a craw full of ale and my lunch in the pail, with the wit of a goat and the charm of a snail
Got a face like a frog, breath like a dog, got eyes like a bat, I sleep with my cat
And the scene inside my mind, it's the fever in my mind, as I walk this zany line
REGICIDE!

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Epilogue

Stop hang around before we begin
Checking out to check it in
If you feel it outside, just look away
I always wanted it this way

More to this egg than what you see
Blinded by the warm embrace of affable simplicity
What youíll see tomorrow is here today
As far as anyone or anything can stay
I always wanted it this way
 

And when I fall, I will drop like a hammer
For when I know, I will reap like a  planter
And then youíll see in me, just who I intend to be
Iíll hang around until
You come around I know you will

Venture in to see behind
Dust off the cobwebs of the best of what was left behind
You know to here from nowhere is quite a way
You always wanted it this way

Until you see in me, all anonymity
Itís so not too bright to tell
But you see it just as well, that

Itís a gray transparent wall
Recognize it best of all
What seemed once too familiar now fades away
We always wanted it this way

And what youíll see tomorrow is here today
I always wanted it this way
I always wanted it, I always had to be this
I can only feel this way

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